When people tell me they are not confident I’m never quite sure how to take it. It strikes me that people use this phrase in two very different ways – situationally or personally.

For some it is seems to be simply a shorthand expression that they are moving into new territory in which they can’t reliably predict the result – e.g.  “I’ve never done tight rope walking before so I’ve no idea whether I’m going to fall or not”. Used in this way lack of confidence is a prediction of an uncertain outcome in a new situation, but not of a unwillingness to give it a go anyway. Coaching this group of ‘unconfidents’ can often be a joy as they expand what they can do by exploring into what they’ve never done before.

For others, “I’m not confident” is a more blanket assessment which seems to be much more personal and final – e.g. “Don’t ask me to tight rope walk – I’m not the sort of person who would ever succeed at that”. Used in this way “lack of confidence” is often a defence against tackling things outside the norm, and a prediction of likely failure – self-fulfilling you might argue. Coaching this group can therefore be much more challenging as the badge/label that clients have placed on themselves has first to be dislodged. Much more challenging.