‘When is it right to say goodbye to a coaching client?’ is a question I get asked in supervision. I was recently talking to a coach who had been working with a client for over two years and was starting to wonder if it was time to call a halt but reluctant to do so. The sessions  with her client had become more about personal support  but lacked any direction or tangible outcomes. The coach was feeling guilty about finishing the relationship and was worried about leaving an emotionally fragile and lonely person without support. At one level she knew that the coaching was now going around in circles, but felt a great sense of duty and loyalty to continue to work with them. Feeling caught, she decided that this was a topic ripe for supervision.

In supervision, we worked on how her sense of responsibility and desire to please as a coach might be tripping her up and creating a potentially co-dependent relationship. This was the first time she had ever had to face into concluding a session with a client as all her previous coaching relationships had been time bound by the number of sessions contracted. However with this client the initial contract had been less clear, and the sessions had just drifted on with no one willing to call a halt. She recognised that her own dislike of finishing relationships and of hurting the client was playing out in the situation. We agreed an exit strategy that didn’t leave the client high and dry and she negotiated a ‘work towards date’ for closing down the relationship with the client. This gave the client 3 months to get used to the idea that they wouldn’t carry on meeting and to focus on how she build her social support network. The coach was then able to exit with grace, feeling she was leaving a more resourced client behind her. Sometimes it is just time to say goodbye.